“Keep you in the dark, You know they all pretend, Keep you in the dark, And so it all began”
The Pretender…Foo Fighters
Steps fall heavy as the darkness unfolds before you. Light chases away the shadows but shapes develop just out of sight. Words echo in your thoughts. Images pull across your mind’s eye. Flashes of memories drift in and out of perception, as you shy from the thoughts, the pain, the emotions they represent. Quickly you run into the darkness, eyes closed to avoid the haunting images. No matter how fast you run, they are always there; written on your very soul.
Who is the pretender? Are the pretenders reflective of who you were in the past or others who come into your life? Each of us holds onto the experiences of our past. Gripping tightly to what we know of the pain we suffered and the feelings we shuffled away without facing. Pushing the memories deep into our mental closets; burying them beneath the dust and boxes. Hoping that others do not discover the secrets we hide or the pretenders we have become.
“Send in your skeletons, Sing as their bones go marching in… again” The Pretender…Foo Fighters
Are we the pretenders?
We are more than just a combination of water and minerals. From the moment of consciousness, we build with blocks of experience and define who we are. If our souls exist, it may be said the soul begins at birth with a clean slate. Each lesson, every beat of our heart, adds to the meaning of what we know, writing on the blank slate of our soul. Life is not about facts but about emotions, about experiences.
“The need you buried deep, The secrets that you keep are ever ready” The Pretender…Foo Fighters
Do you embrace your life or exist in it?
The saying, “they are an old soul” resonates through my thoughts as I spin ideas together. An old soul may be the accumulation of life’s experiences. Some souls only touch in the brief moments, the veil between our lives, while other souls seek out life on the edges of common experiences, touching many lives and in turn experiencing many lessons. Lessons etch their mark onto the soul and draw a picture of who we truly are becoming. Many hide the picture, their soul from others, while those who are referred to as “old souls” share the picture of themselves to everyone they meet. The non-pretenders reveal the etchings and scratches that showing the full picture of life. The pretenders show only the image they want others to see or, an image that had no substance, no clarity, no real experiences to support their false image.
Even though the cost of experience, of these life lessons, is paid with moments of great pain, loss, and heartbreak, we grow. With each experience we add to our souls and in turn our wisdom. The feelings we have experienced created the person who is now presented. Looking back, the past can be filled with personal horrors and choices that cannot be unmade, but have altered the picture that we are by being etched on our soul. Our greatest pain, buried deep, will surface when we least expect it, casting shadows upon us in a moment. These shadows that sometimes haunt our existence are not the way to honor our teacher. A teacher we refer to as experience.
Do not hide the pain; it is a lesson that should be remembered, not haunt your life. Embrace the scars for the pain is a lesson of what it is like to live.
“I’m finished making sense, Done pleading ignorance, That whole defense” The Pretender…Foo Fighters
Until next time…