So Addicted To, The Things You Do…

30 Jan

“I’m so addicted to
All the things you do…
…It’s not like anything
When you’re loving me”

Addicted…Saving Abel

I am an addict. Yes, that is correct, I will admit it to the world. I can’t stop myself. My addiction impacts life by bringing strife into my personal life, causing some unwanted attention at work, and is something I cannot bring myself to change. My life is inconceivable without the instant gratification my addiction gives me. So, here today, I publically announce my problem in hopes of taking the first steps in coping with my addiction.

<clears throat>

“I am addicted to my smartphone. Yes, I said it. I have a problem and admit it. “

addicted to dataI do not know if there are other smartphone addicts out there. I am sure there are a few closet addicts hiding their problem better than I do. My smartphone is like an extension of my arm, constantly in my hands as I look through email, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat and all of the messages arriving through the millions of chat programs. My thumbs are in a constantly flurry of motion. Recently, I changed phones and while I miss my previous one dearly, I am excited for the new addition, I mean, the phone I have started using. The phone gives me a feeling of being connected to everyone around the country, world, and across the house. Yes, I have sent messages to my wife while she was upstairs and I was downstairs. I see it as being efficient even though some may call it lazy. I embrace technology and accept its multitude of uses.

Looking for a support group to help me with my smartphone addiction, I searched the internet-on my phone. What I  found were some really cool discussion groups along with some sites my computer firewall blocked (not sure what those may be but I find that scary). However, my search was in vain as I did not find like-minded people. Maybe the other smartphone addicts are unaware of their problem or are not willing to admit to their problem. Let’s see if I can help others realize just how much their smartphone is a part of their lives, then I won’t feel so alone when I do look up from my phone.

You may be a smartphone addict if:

  • Your office at work was completely remodeled yet you were unaware of the changes due to walking around reading your phone-when did they add the new section?
  • You do not realize someone is speaking to you unless they first make a “ding” noise.
  • You have a mental image of what Siri looks like and wonder what it would be like to spend some time with her in person. 
  • You have a panic attack if your battery drops below 30% without a charging cable. 
  • Your response to every question is “there’s an app for that”. 
  • You plan your vacation based on your cellphone coverage as well as making sure you can carry all your phone accessories in the carryon compartments. 
  • You purchased a phone for your six-year-old so you can text with her from across the room. 
  • Your nightmares are about having to use a “flip” phone to text. 
  • You break out in a cold sweat at the very mention of “data usage restriction” by your phone provider. 
  • You are reading this post on your phone instead of a computer.

Being a smartphone addict is not necessarily a bad thing. I would venture to say that if you believe you are not addicted to your phone then you are in denial and should just learn acceptance and take the first step to recovery. I am seeking others like me so that we can meet in the dark basement of a community center, drink bad coffee, and text message our stories to each other.

I am easy to find walking down the street because I am the one who is laughing at the latest meme viewed on my liquid crystal display as I walk out into traffic. Please do me a favor and text me a warning. I may not listen to your shouts as I read the latest tweet.

Until next time…

jerry b

© 2014



Posted by on January 30, 2014 in Editorial, Humor


Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

11 responses to “So Addicted To, The Things You Do…

  1. DJ Lucas

    January 30, 2014 at 8:00 am

    You forgot one: “I can’t wait to get home to flash the new nightly.” Okay, now that I’ve typed it, I see that it is just plain nerdy. However, I do recall a quick visit to ebay last year for a device (used) that was compatible with the provider on the islands! 🙂

    • Jerry B.

      January 30, 2014 at 8:56 am

      No, there isn’t an addiction there, DJ. Did you find the phone that worked?
      Jerry b

  2. Alex

    January 30, 2014 at 8:21 am

    If only my phone was the only thing I am addicted to…

    • Jerry B.

      January 30, 2014 at 8:58 am

      Oh, I am not sure I want to know what the others are…well, maybe I do. Thanks for reading.

  3. Anonymous

    January 30, 2014 at 10:17 am

    Hello, my name is Ms. Smith, and I’m an addict. I have checked-in during church services, grabbed my phone because I heard an elevator ding, experienced high anxiety when I could not take my phone into the x-ray with me and refuse to turn it off while at the doctor’s office.

    • Jerry B.

      January 30, 2014 at 10:19 am

      Hello, Mrs. Smith! Welcome to the meeting.

  4. mermaidgrl7

    January 30, 2014 at 11:37 am

    I don’t see my phone as an addiction, it is really more a part of me. I mean it’s not like I would break down and cry if I had to put it down…. I don’t completely lose my mind if I don’t have cell service….There is no twitching if I haven’t checked my phone in the last five minutes….oh wait 🙂

    • Jerry B.

      January 30, 2014 at 12:16 pm

      See, I realized I might be a little bit panicked if my phone is unavailable. Sad isn’t it

      • mermaidgrl7

        January 30, 2014 at 12:25 pm

        Not sad at all-I can totally relate. What is the most inappropriate time you have used/checked your phone?

      • Jerry B.

        January 30, 2014 at 1:19 pm

        Well, in the bathroom is a good time to catch up on messages. What else is there to do? Umm, I will have to think on that one. What was yours?
        Jerry b

      • Mermaidgrl7

        January 30, 2014 at 1:36 pm

        Hmm well there is sneaking a peek on a plane but that’s pretty common… There was the time I was on a date but texting someone else….


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