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Top Four Frustrations of Social Media


Love it or hate it, social media is here to stay. No longer is there need for verbal conversation with a person in the same room when you can use your phone to send short text messages and Facebook pokes. Twitter helps you reduce your thoughts to 140 characters all the while being completely anonymous. Yep, social media is here to stay. People have whole relationships on social media and may never meet in person. As it changes names and form, it imbeds itself so deeply in our lives that our physical interactions are reduced even more. Social media reminds me of the end result of a bad sci-fi movie of the future with an electronic dependent civilization. Since it is here, I must admit I am one of those who embraces and uses this form of communication. I am probably promoting this article on at least three forms of social media besides this blog. Yes, I drank the Kool-Aid and became one of the collectives.

Now, just because I use social media, doesn’t mean I completely agree with all of the things that go along with the medium. One of my biggest pet peeves is the equivalent to the chain letter from high school only on social media. These little annoyances pop up from your trusted friends who feel the need to spoil your day with a guilt trip call to action in order to save this cute little kitten or some other equally emotional cause. All you have to do is share this link on your timeline, twitter feed, or Google page. By doing so, you become the manipulator of the next guilt trip.

NEWS FLASH: Posting something on your wall never saved that damn kitten.

Now that we have cleared up this little mess and put it to bed, let’s take a look at a few other areas which annoy the hell out of…well, me.

  1. NO, in fact, I do not want to play Candy Crush. I have an addictive personality and if you get me started on a game, I am likely to lose track of the rest of the world for a couple weeks until an intervention is carried out. Please keep that silly invite to yourself as well as your new high score. Candy Crush is the new Farmville on the annoyance meter. Stop playing and look up from your phone. There is a whole world out there to explore. Read a book or something.
  2. I have seen this meme. If by seeing, you meant it has been shared by every known person on the internet. I will admit it was funny the first three or four times, but you are late to the funny party and should have gotten the hint when you also have seen it over and over the past month.
  3. Stupid over hereSpeaking of memes, whoever is creating memes needs to get some new pictures. Can we agree to retire the following images:
    1. Gene Wilder’s Willy Wonka – just creepy on so many levels
    2. Patrick Stewart’s Captain Picard- yes, it was funny to have his raised hand captioned with a vulgar word the first fifty times.
    3. Lawrence Fishburne’s Morpheus – I get it, you have a choice between the two pills, how about giving me both- we will act like this never happened.
    4. Any Victorian Era Sketch – who ever dug up the old Hallmark cards and started throwing insulting phrases, commentary on drinking habits, and “how I really don’t like you” phrases should be committed to a room with every meme plastered to the walls as a form of punishment.
  4. What constellation are you? What character in Game of Thrones are you? What horrific monster are you? What type of idiot are you? Oh, the last one is the only one that I think should be played. Yes, the annoying “What <fill in the blank> are you?” chain post. I do not care about which character you are in any fictional television show. Want to know a secret, neither do the rest of your friends. We have already figured out what type of idiot you are – the one that plays silly Facebook games.

I am sure there are many more annoying things about Facebook and social media in general, but I should wrap up here to allow my blood pressure to come back down to normal. Besides, it is my turn on Words with Friends. Did you see my high score posted on Facebook?

Until next time…

jerry b.

© 2014

 

 
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Posted by on June 13, 2014 in Editorial, Humor

 

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Life of a “Facebook Drama Queen”


“Well, it is official. He didn’t pay the child support again. Time to take him to court. Why doesn’t he see that I love him so much?”

Yes, it is time for another entertaining day reading Facebook posts. Somewhere in the not too distant past, civilization has lost its sanity. Social media allows users to take their drama to the world stage in ways never thought possible before. Daily, users vent their frustrations about their ex-spouse, relationships, and work. Nothing is sacred from the quickly typed (and usually misspelled) mental vomit. The only requirement is access to the internet, a Facebook account, and enough self-loathing to have all of your dirty little secrets exposed for your entire friends list. It does not matter that a majority of the “friends” on that list are strangers added to fulfill your conquest on Farmville.  Some Facebook Drama Queens are so entertaining it is difficult to bring oneself to “unfriend” them out of fear of missing what will come next. (NOTE: This same fear is why it is nearly impossible to change the station when TMZ comes on the air. Admit it- if you see more than a minute of TMZ, you are sucked into the whole show. Drama Baby!)

Not all Facebook Drama Queens are created equal. Life would be boring if Drama Queens came in a one-size fits all package. We need variety to spice up our lives. Facebook users give us endless supplies of spicy goodness. Let us look at a few common categories of Drama Queens.

Victim of the Player

Being a victim is not easy. Hopes and dreams of the perfect future hang on the person of your dreams. You spent the morning sharing how magical the night was when you met. How it was love at first sight, you are so meant to be together. The insignificant facts that you met that person at sleazy bar the night before, after a massive quantity of chocolate vodka martinis, and they were gone before you woke this morning, might be an indicator that your need to re-evaluate your standards. But hey we are talking about “the one” after all.  So then, after your daylong profession of love, your status messages start to take a darker turn when he or she does not call you. Over the next few days, you spiral from the love-struck statuses to the hate filled insults we so enjoy.

The “Victim” will entertain us for days until they finally come to the realization that they are better off without the “loser” who is not good enough for them. This realization is usually applauded in the fifty comments from other “victims” who plan an outing to celebrate the newfound independence. The celebration usually leads to meeting another “person of their dreams” and the cycle starts all over again.  

Crazy Stalker

“It is so amazing, our eyes met across the liquor store. We shared a night of blissful decadence.” What follows are weeks of happy status messages, that is until the inevitable breakup post makes everything interesting. Messages that read like the Facebook version of a Jerry Springer show fill the newsfeed. If we are lucky, it is a two-way fight where friends on both sides join in on the bashing. Eventually, one of the scorned lovers will drop out of the verbal boxing match. However, the fun is far from over.

Facebook fights worthy of the Springer show.

Facebook fights worthy of the Springer show.

The “Crazy Stalker” is similar to the “Victim” only they do not ever seem to reach the point of letting go. Weeks turn into months as the “Stalker” seeks out and post comments to every friend of his or her obsession. The Status updates read like a play-by-play of their stalking prowess bordering on the illegal. The subject of the stalker’s interest is usually strangely absent from the exchange, but that cannot be said of their friends who take up the charge in the status wars. All can have fun, as we are reminded of how interesting and torturous it is to be single.

Eeyore

When looking at the proverbial glass as being half-full or half-empty, Facebook Drama Queens wonder who drank their water. Nothing is every bright and sunny. Whining is the not only the norm, but required with every character typed. How they have the motivation to actively participate in the world around them is nothing short of amazing. It is time to introduce the most depressing of our Drama Queens, the Eeyore.

We all have "Eeyores" on our friends list.

We all have “Eeyores” on our friends list.

If ever you need a reminder that your life is not that bad, just look up the “Eeyore” on your friends list. You know who I am talking about, the person whose status messages almost make you want to jump off the nearest bridge. While reading the status message, you almost hear Eeyore’s mono-toned voice in your head droning on about how their car broke down or they are “stuck” at home again on a Friday night with no money, no friends, and no future. Eeyores typically hate their job, their family, or just about everything in existence. Not all Eeyores are hypochondriacs, but those that are post every ache and pain. Oh, the horror they must endure from that fungal infected toenail.  After reading a few posts, you will be thankful for whatever life has dealt you.

The Compulsive “Over-sharer”

For the record, no, we do not want to know about the new sore that appeared on your little toe. Nor do we wish to hear about the exact ingredients of your dinner, how it well your new colon cleansing routine is working, or the mystical answers you have found in inspirational memes. Yet, we seem to be fascinated by our last entry on our list of Facebook Drama Queens, the “Compulsive Over-sharer”.

As a rule, the Over-sharer is on the fringe of the Drama Queen spectrum. Most of their statuses are reposts of every meme on the internet, however in the process, they feel the need to update their friends on even the most minute aspect of their lives, their thoughts, and personal hygiene. Over time, we know more about the Over-sharer than we do about our own lives. Though not as fun as some of the others on the list, we know exactly what the Over-sharer is doing at any given moment. Sometimes, this knowledge should not be viewed before dinner, bed, or first thing in the morning. You never know what you might read.

WARNING: Attention all Facebook Drama Queens!

You may currently be on our friends list, however it is only a matter time before we remove you. If you wonder why we are not friends anymore, read The Friendship is Over…Just Ask Facebook. That should clear things up for you.

Do you have Facebook Drama Queens on your friends list? What are some of your funniest stories based on Facebook statuses?

Until next time…

jerryb.

©2013

 
11 Comments

Posted by on November 26, 2013 in Humor

 

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TTMM Weekly Wrap and Facebook Thoughts


TTMM Weekly Wrap

This week has been crazy and satisfying in many ways. We started the week visiting Hell or at least its kitchen, in our look into what the reality show’s contestants should consider before accepting a role on the show. On our next stop we visited what makes people purge their friends list on the all-powerful Facebook.  We ended the week with my personal blog and internet reading list at the moment.

It seems if you wish to get people’s attention, just mention Facebook. That is why I mentioned it in the title of today’s blog. Almost everyone has a Facebook account, whether they actively use it or log in once in a while to creep through their friends’ photos. My mother is even on the social network giant. She uses it to keep in contact with her children. Now that doesn’t mean she is actively participating in two-way communication, she is sort of “stalking” the family by reading our statuses or blogs. Kind of creepy in some ways, but it is nice in others as it gives the feeling of having a guardian angel watching over me; a mute guardian angel. I love you, Mom. Just smile and wave at the readers.

“Social media includes web-based and mobile based technologies which are used to turn communications into interactive dialogue among organizations, communities, and individuals.”.. as defined by Wikipedia

Our fascination for all forms of social media has been growing over the past 15 years. Social media began to enter mainstream culture as AOL grew in popularity. True geeks will argue the first wide-spread social communication on the internet was message boards but the majority of us are not “true geeks” so I will stick by my timeline, not the geek-line. As I was saying, social media started with AOL, then moved to Yahoo, progressing to the social world we have today.  Like all things, if used responsibly, the inter-linking Internet communities can be beneficial; like guns, alcohol, religion, and porn. (I have always wanted to put those words in a sentence.) However, if abused, those same electronic societies can quickly go from annoying to fanatical. Now I don’t think that Facebook will be the fall of society but more likely a blip on the timeline our progress. Then again, religions have been started from some of the strangest things; wasn’t Scientology born from a sci-fi book?

Let’s look back at this week’s posts

  • Love them or hate them, reality shows are part of our culture and television schedule. This week, we looked into what the contestants on Fox’s Hell’s Kitchen should understand before they join the show in “A Little Advice for Hell…Or Hell’s Kitchen.”
  • If Facebook friend lists reflect our relationships with others, then it is time to clean up your list. Here are the reasons why some do not appear on my friends list anymore in “The Friendship Is Over…Just Ask Facebook.”
  • Taking a little time for a family vacation this week, I thought it would be fun to share out some of the authors, bloggers, and webpages that I am currently following. I hope you took some time to read through their pages. I hope to share more that I discover. See my recommendations in “It’s Family Vacation Time.”

I want to thank everyone for reposting and sharing. I write because I enjoy writing. I post for you, the reader to enjoy. If you like a blog, share it with your friends, repost on your favorite site, or just leave a comment. I will keep doing this as long as everyone keeps reading.

Until next time…

jerryb

© 2012

Related Post: TTMM Weekly Wrap and Shout Out; TTMM Weekly Wrap…Holiday Week Edition

 

 
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Posted by on July 14, 2012 in Weekly Wrap

 

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The Friendship is Over…Just Ask Facebook


In our current culture, Facebook dictates who we like and recognize as our friends. If you are not on our Facebook friends list, then you must not be someone we consider worthy of such a title. Never mind that we talk on the phone, at work, or when we get together in person; if you don’t make the cut on the almighty Facebook, you are not really my friend. I am truly sorry to break that news to you so publically on the internet. I would have notified you via my status update, but you wouldn’t see it because my Facebook is only for those people who are my friends and since you are not on the list, you wouldn’t have been given this little tidbit of wisdom. I know you were once in the know and on the elite list of friends but found yourself banished to obscurity without a warning or reason. It could have happened for one of many different reasons and I feel that I owe you an explanation about why you were kicked out of the cool kids’ crowd. So here are some of the reasons you have been defriended.

  • For the love of the game: It seems that you had a whole lot of time on your hands to play online games. You filled my screen with your little achievement updates, and requested help building your barn, finding a stone, or kicking another player’s ass. I, however, do not have the luxury of time and have had less time due to having to sort through multiple pages of your game posts just to find something interesting from people who had something real to share. Sorry, but you have been deleted from the list and I truly hope that barn of yours burns to the ground.
  • Breaking the chain: In the beginning, there were chain letters. Then came chain emails. In our new world, we have chain statuses. Like their predecessors, they do nothing more than piss off the people who feel guilty for not complying with the requested response. Thank you for the notification on the little girl that is suffering from a fatal acne breakout. I am sure that it will clear up after we re-post the story in our status. Well, I for one desire to live a guilt-free life and am willing to close my eyes to all of the suffering in the world to make it a better place for me. In honor of my new outlook, or lack thereof, I am purging you from my friends list in order to be a happier me. I feel better already.
  • Drama class: I for one like a little bit of drama, as long as it is happening to someone else. The Drama Queens who display their drama for all to see can be quite amusing. However, when you constantly share your relationship issues, your pitiful life, or your hatred for your job, you cross over from the realm of amusing to pathetic. If I wanted to see that every day, I would watch reruns of the Jerry Springer Show. Your life is too depressing even for me. I highly recommend you should consider seeking help outside the electronic world.
  • Manic moments: On the opposite side of the depressing drama are those of you that are chronically upbeat and cheerful. After reading your status messages every hour (because you post your joyful messages frequently), I almost wonder if your high spirits are a result of rainbows coming out of your ass. Your words of uplifting prose probably make you feel warm and fuzzy, but for those of us that live in the world of reality, you are obnoxiously manic. No one is that merry all the time; hence your deletion from the pool of friends. Call me cynical but I have no room for someone that is not honest with me on how shitty your life has truly become.
  • Who the hell are you?: Just because you happen to be related to my second cousin by marriage and you have the same last name as I do does not mean that I know you. Though we attended the same school, church, or worked at the same fast food place doesn’t make us friends. In a moment of weakness (and curiosity) I accepted your friend request. I have since realized that weakness is not the way to live and have rectified that moment by deleting you out of my life. I feel stronger already.

I hope this clears up any questions that kept you up at night regarding the change of status. For a brief moment, we were thick as thieves and part of a greater societal circle together. May you go on to find friends that appreciate your uniqueness. I, for one, am not that friend.

Looking back over my friends list, I see a few members of my family, a few people that make me laugh with their posts, and a handful of people who are my only link to a life that is long past. I have come to realize that I must not be a good person as I have fewer friends than I thought. Maybe they deleted me because of the constant promotion of my blog. NAW, they love me.

Until next time…

Jerryb

© 2012

 

 
5 Comments

Posted by on July 11, 2012 in Humor

 

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